MALIN Z

BEING STILL WITH DISCOMFORT

My 1 year challenge

There is a time in life when we draw a line in the sand.

When we leave without ever turning back.

When we emerge ourselves into something with an energy beyond anything we ever focused on before.

My line in  the sand came when I was 42 years old and within a time frame of 4 years I lost my father, I was witness to something criminal, I had a child coming back to live with me (without any financial help at all), my spouse was put in isolation – in a foreign country – due to life threatening virus, another child being bullied, business partners and certain staff trying everything from taking advantage to steel or plainly assuming I would pick up the bill for any mistake possible, being diagnosed with 4th grade cancer and medical burnout, taking care of my cancer sick addictive mother in her home… all culminating in my mother’s death, a severely damaged business-out of control -I was barely working in(aka no active income) yet legally responsible for, a badly collapsed relationship and a complete physical and mental exhaustion… so I draw a line. The line.

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And I said yes to myself and no to most things going on – and intentionally I let it all, or most of it, collapse.

I started the journey of re-starting myself financially, re-defining myself personally, re-covering physically, re-structure my work and my relationships.

This is my journey now.

Part of it is that I am a writer and in specific a story teller. It is one of my core skills and ways I always have expressed myself. Both professionally and privately. So to start it off by a commitment to myself, to write every day, about this journey felt like the logical start.

This is MY 1 YEAR CHALLENGE.

So why am I putting this here and even telling people about the back-ground? Because I don’t think I am alone. My story may have different details, but the general issues are common to anyone having a life crisis – or having one, but not knowing how to deal with it, or having one and trying to ignore it.

And it gives a structure to an otherwise shapeless existence.

And it gives a sense of togetherness and new friendships.

In reality all things happen simultaneously. And it is only in an ideal world we can push pause on all other areas in our lives and then later push play again and things go back exactly as they were. They don’t. They never do.

In reality we have to grieve one person and parent another at the same time.

In the real world we have to deal with our physical shortcomings and go to work at the same time.

In the real world we have to save ourselves at the same time as we are helping everybody else.

So for 1 year I will be sharing this on this blog – my 365 signals finding my new home within myself.

If you are someone who also is on a quest for some sort of change and would like to share or connect or just follow – I am happy to support and follow you back. Maybe you have already assigned yourself some similar type of challenge? Please let me know in the comment box, email me or connect on social media.

Let us be strong together.

M.

Image courtesy to Etaphop at www.freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

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