[FILM REVIEW 2016/2]Bad Moms

Girls-turned-moms comedy with Mila Kunis heading up the lead supported by Katrin Hahn, Kristen Bell and Christina Applegate. Directed by Jon Lucas and Scott More….

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Image result for free pictures bad momsBad Moms is a girls-turned-moms comedy with Mila Kunis heading up the lead supported by Katrin Hahn, Kristen Bell and Christina Applegate. Directed by Jon Lucas and Scott More.

Watched it with and without my daughter. She loved all the crazy moments and couldn’t wait for the next scene. We give that point to the director to, Hollywood despite, managed to make it feel like this could have been any mother and any girl or boy.

The ensemble is keeping a good tempo and timing keeping the comedy at peek all through the film. Sometimes the incidents take some really deep dives that are too easily ignored and had rather been left out – but then I am not American.

To through in the towel and not keep up with all expectations is probably a hidden dream for many women. Being a mom has become equal to put up some sign that it is ok to judge you – this stands also for the none Americans 😉 Kunis does a splendid job keeping her character real in a life that seems more and more absurd.

Appelgate does her blond bitch good as usual, but it would be interesting if somebody could trust her with a role that uses her whole register.Bell and Hahn are hilarious and hats off for keeping it all through.

This is a movie where they worked so hard on keeping the punchlines and ideas up they put 2 into 1, which has left it with a few too many loose ends and confusing complications – however since they last so short time before you realize it everybody moved on to the next thing.

So:

Enjoyable? Yep – we had some really good laughs to this one.

Takeaways? Yes, surprisingly many for being a light weight movie. You can read about my favorite scene here.

Artistic input? Smooth and nothing outstanding.

Recommendable? If you want a good laugh at yourself, with your girl-friends or your kids – this one is a sure period of laughter.

Worth having at home? Best enjoyed in good company or at the cinema if possible.

Rating? An ambitious 3.5 due to an overambitious script but thumbs up for all the girls!

 

Do your own homework

You know what – I don’t want you to go out in the world and think that you are entitled. Do you know what entitled means? It means…

This week I focused on my new work. Completely dived into it and it starts to make sense.

What in the beginning felt like a possible failure or impossible obstacles are now things I just have to figure out and work around – and I do.

Then someone came by and knocked the door just to tell me they finally resolved my internet. Woohoo! I can’t really express the feeling when we have been without internet for so long… It is almost like you forget how smooth it is and how extremely spoiled we are are having it in the first place.

So I use the opportunity to look at a feelgood movie with my kids – Bad Moms with Mila Kunis and Christina Applegate.

I am not sure this movie is the definition of bad moms, but it is very relate-able for anyone who has or have had kids – the-please-all-other-parents-syndrome at school – attend every committee, PTA, bake sale you name i t. In other words the mom-trap that sends you straight to parent-hell with bad self confidence, more insecurities and I-am-never-enough nightmares.

A lot of standard Hollywood bla bla comedy and then suddenly this super scene where the kids in  the kitchen one morning waiting for breakfast and wonder where she is, followed by the son freaking out that no one done his science homework and she turns to him and says;

You know what – I don’t want you to go out in the world and think that you are entitled.  Do you know what entitled means? It means that you will expect other people to do things for you, but they don’t; me to do your homework, your teacher to give you high grades, your boss to give you a pay raise for no reason, your wife to do everything for you, your kids to be a lot of things that you have chosen – in other words a HORRIBLE person! And then you are going to get divorced, have a bad relationship with your kids etc etc. NOBODY has to do anything for you – and the sooner you start working on actually knowing and doing things for yourself the better life will be and you will not have all those problems – making sense? So you do your own homework from now on – and off she walks.

As part of a co-dependency scenario entitlement pops up more often than not in both directions. One who thinks that with what ever addiction or problem – since we now agreed it is a problem – they now think they are entitled to help to solved or help to “handle”it. Then again one always being agreeable, taking out all fires and smoothing and fixing at some point concludes , that being this nice, polite, helpful and so on I now have a right to get something in return – whatever I want and preferably right now… and so it goes on.

So I know this dance and I wish someone had told me exactly the same at that age, but more in the lines of; Entitlement means that you are going to think that your mum, because she has said and done stupid things when she has been drunk, owes you something. Anything really. And from time to time she is going to agree, because of guilt, and at other times – she won’t or can’t. And you know what will happen then? You will prove to yourself you are right – you are going to tell the world to look how bad she is to you – when you in all reality was wrong from the very beginning! She and the rest of the world owes you NOTHING, so get off that little butt of yours and get going! No one will do your life for you!

But no one gave me that speech… so I also have to do it now instead, but I am very proud of my small steps forward and mini successes!

307 signals to go.

Image courtesy to Stuart Miles at www.freedigitalphotos.net

 

 

Gratitude de luxe

I think I first heard about gratitude journaling on Oprah. Sounded a bit too hunky dory and don’t-they-have-anything-else-to-think-about? So naturally I kept too busy to do it…

I think I first heard about gratitude journaling on Oprah. Sounded a bit too hunky dory and don’t-they-have-anything-else-to-think-about? So naturally I kept too busy to do it.

Second wave came with The Secret books. I actually did the exercises, but again it didn’t really stayed with me. Start-stop-syndrome.

Third time was with Rhonda Britten – she advocates taking it a bit deeper than just listing things, to actually write out the whole scenario or scenery in such a way, that if you look back into your journals years from now, you should be able to recall the exact memory.

This did help a bit. I stayed on it for ca 10 months – 5 every day.

Then I read the book by T Harv Eker and doubled it to 10.

Yet it started to feel random again.

Then something didn’t happen and I couldn’t write how grateful I was about it as I had planned.

Somewhere along the lines of understanding myself and understanding co-dependency patterns it does have sank in that controlling out comes is a less good habit. As well as things happen when we are ready, universe has our back etc.

So for whatever reason I started to write the good things it was or could be that this thing hadn’t happen. And then it worked. It just came bubbling up and I almost over-whelmed myself with emotion.

It not just worked for deepening gratitude, but it also turned negative thinking and expectations into something positive, so positive in fact I could dwell in the feeling of good rather than bad.

That was a first and I liked it. Maybe it will get old too one day, but for now it does the job very well.

Do you have any De Luxe versions of gratitude yourself? Please share with me 🙂

316 signals to go. Good steps.

Image courtesy to Thank You1 at www.freedigitalphotos.net

Washing it off

Have you ever felt betrayed, back-stabbed, cheated on, excluded or even bullied?

Have you ever felt betrayed, back-stabbed, cheated on, excluded or even bullied?

Today I think I managed to get my fair share of each – all in one go. Had to just stop the car and sit still and let it just rush through the system and then somehow slowly ebb away a bit.

When I collected myself again and turned the car on again to get out in traffic I silently ask myself in what sort of denial have I been living in? Was so I so desperate for approval? Belonging? Achievements?

It is like I have told myself what to feel rather than feeling it. What was expected of me.

Now I feel it. Like an instant pain you instantly want to withdraw from I just it still.

It is uncomfortable. It is painful. It is relieving in a backwards way.

I take time to feel and I take time to observe to the best I can.

I have found that I am very uncomfortable with other people’s unexpected expectations. They have ideas and plans I am suppose to fit in to, which I either never realized or I never actively took part in from the beginning.

Then they have these big dramatic behaviours and most often I haven’t seen it coming and again and again I am deeply confused or surprised. It has taken a while, but at least now – when I happen to do it myself – I can silently ask for some type of undoing and ask myself what is really going on?

When I manage to hold on and stay in my Observer position I can see that maybe I attracted this person – or his or hers views on something – into my life when I was in a fundamentally different place. As with my intentions, maybe I need to give myself a break here and let certain people ache out to really ensure whatever has to be learned is learned?

Today I didn’t look away. Nor did I dwell. I looked. Looked again. And looked at myself. And back again. There was really betrayal. Real back stabbing. Real bullying. But I didn’t have to let it define me. Or let it put me on an emotional dependency spree. Just let it fall to the ground as I move forward.

Wash it off.

The evening I spend in the ocean waves looking up at the sky. Trust, trust, trust I tell myself as I let them carry my up and down with the streams. I breathe. I float. I am doing it.

A little bit drained, but I go to bed with a cleaned soul tonight.

335 signals to go. Slowly but surely.

The things we do NOT think about

If someone outspokenly told me they were going to teach me a fear based thinking pattern and that I would defend it against myself…

Together with whales and dolphins we are the spices with the most developed front-lobes aka we can think. Then how does it come that we more often than not wake up to situations where we clearly haven’t?

If someone outspokenly told me they were going to teach me a fear based thinking pattern and that I would defend it against myself with the help of pride, expectations and possible humiliation I would probably have said no thank you.

But no one asked me. And in hindsight I doubt anyone asked them. It was just the way it was done.

We scare small children into an emotional dependency and then we tell them about right and wrong. Good or bad. Love and hate. Belonging and separation. Inclusion and exclusion.

Not everybody does this. It is a very dualistic and a Christian/Jewish way to define the world.

As much as I wish it was not the case I have to admit this occurred to me just lately. I simply never bothered to think about it.

So I thought most of the world was unsafe. Down to the very relationship with myself.

Trust didn’t exist. Anywhere.

To actively retrain is not always easy, but I persist. So I think.

Varied results yes, but I keep at it.

Universal laws, metaphysics, spirituality, religion, self-help, traditions, habits. You name it.

Read. Read. Read. Think. Think. Think. Read again.

Maybe this is the liberty of not having any parents or older relatives alive? Nobody there to put you back in place again…

341 signals to go.

Image courtesy of khunaspix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net