90 seconds on reality

So I am stepping out slowly but surely to the reality. Back to school and back to work and all that.

Somewhere I read that we only hold emotions for 90 seconds… then they blow over.

So if we can only survive those 90 seconds – not responding with another terrorizing emotion or action – we will be grounded back to life again. Which of these lives now – that is…

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So I am stepping out slowly but surely to the reality. Back to school and back to work and all that.

Somewhere I read that we only hold emotions for 90 seconds… then they blow over.

So if we can only survive those 90 seconds – not responding with another terrorizing emotion or action – we will be grounded back to life again. Which of these lives now – that is…

I found that I am either conditioned, or shaped, into believing that emotions are good – that is what life is about in fact. The bigger the better. There are 2 backsides to this reasoning however.

One being I only seem to be big on the negative stuff and can barely separate the difference or define the positive ones…

The second is society seem to prefer we are not emotional at all. It is disturbing apparently.

And then the given that once we finally get that we are more than just this body and just this life – then there is the children…and they didn’t ask for neither the way kids don’t.

Is functioning the same as being numbed off and in survival mode? Denying pains, grief and regrets?

Getting stuck in one owns pains or of others is simply overwhelming. To be eye to eye with real suffering is hard. Rape, war, money disasters, death…just to name a few that landed in my inbox this Monday morning. It feels  like one could throw up, call in sick and go and hide under a pillow – but that is not an option in my reality. I can dwell in the 90 seconds and that’s it.

Resourcefulness means something else here. One way or the other you have to move yourself forward. Plant the seeds. Nurture and nurture and nurture again and if everything goes well harvest at some point. Nurturing can also be hard. Children, animals, work, self, family…

So I hold that breath for 90 seconds. Sit in it all and when i let it go I am so out of breath I can’t take another one fast enough – and whatever moment has passed and I can re-focus.

Going home. 299 signals to go.

Image courtesy to Coward Lion at www.fredigitalphotos.net

 

 

 

Knowing what to do

I look at myself and I am amazed over the difference purpose and a sense of control can have on a persons sanity?

I look at myself and I am amazed over the difference purpose and a sense of control can have on a persons sanity?

For me it is clearly very tightly linked. I open up my computer and I have 4 new assignments from one of the agencies I work for. Go to work! Get done!

And suddenly I am all calm again. Even take breaks to do things outdoors and yet get more done then when I am “free”all day. This to have a task to fulfill and a role to play every day seems very important to us.

I know the nature cultures operate like this – it is the groups responsibility to find the task each one of best suited for to do. Why did we drop this tradition? Imagine if we as a community attended every citizen like this…but no… we are all about the money or no that is not right either…we are all about the profit. What we can possibly gain for doing anything for anyone.

Doing things just because they are the-right-thing-to-do seems like some old line from a long forgotten movie by now. It is like I am an alien when I try. there must be something wrong with me unless i don’t try to take advantage of something or someone – OR – I must have a conspiracy plan so big they cant even picture it…. Lovely isn’t it.

Many times I have been torn about however intentions are a good or bad thing or just a lame excuse for not getting there. When I am in my peace I go for the further, because most of the time, even when someone supposedly “fail”me they did try. The times I met people who intentionally plan – plan is an important factor here – to hurt me is extremely rare.

Back to my daily shores now.

308 signals to go. Knowing what to do.

Image courtesy to Bugtiger at www.freedigitalphotos.net

If you don’t know – don’t act

…I am happy to report, that in the days I had a corporate career I used to be envious of my fellow muslim co-workers….

As you know by know I read and study A Course In Miracles. When I follow my routine I also usually follow the weekly live stream with Marianne Williamson.

Sometimes I just listen and other times I take notes as was it a dictation.

On today’s replay there was 2 questions in the audience that resonated deeply with me;

One was a man, who over a period of a couple of years, had built up his business from scratch and now was ready to build his team and even if he indeed had found great candidates he still felt fear and a big worry about it, primarily however these people would be able to take care of his baby the way he expected.

It was so peaceful not be hear a lot of bla-bla-quick-fix-be-rational, but a simple listen inwards…follow your senses…don’t rush…if you don’t know – don’t act

How often haven’t I taken rushed decisions just because I believe if I don’t others will think I am unprofessional or incompetent or inexperienced…

The other was a young woman feeling out of her presence , but yet pressured to keep up with deadlines etc. All primarily because she felt it was more secure than to ask for a meditative time-out.

I am happy to report, that in the days I had a corporate career I used to be envious of my fellow muslim co-workers, who simply had their dedicated room and legitimately were allowed to take their moments for prayer etc. As a non smoker I had no official reason at all – for anything.Like this woman I just kept going even if I felt it was not optimal.

Now I started to wonder how weird we actually talk about work. Someone asked the question why would we want a job or work at a place where we feel the need to get intoxicated (read drink coffee) just to feel awake enough to get started? Said like that it does seem quite obvious – just I never ever heard anyone talk about work from that angle.

That said I now need my good night’s sleep.

320 signals to go – learning new.